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Thursday, May 09, 2013

Lost Porcupine Returns

I'm in Vermont, now, camping in the woods near Montpelier, where my friends, Michael, Sarika, and my Goddaughter, Satya, live.

New Video Interview

A woman from Turkey, Filiz Telek, did his interview with me last autumn in the wetlands near Moab.  She randomly ran into me in Moab, not knowing anything about me.  And she decided to do this interview.  She happened to complete this video and post it on my 52nd birthday a few days ago.

"The man who quit money" video interview by Filiz Telek
http://vimeo.com/sacredresonance/suelo

(I'm not cyber-savvy enough to embed a vimeo video in this blog)

Trickster Mind F---
 
Lakota Trickster Iktomi
A bit of notoriety is a funny thing.  Every up is met with down, every yang with a yin.  My ego has gone to great heights with praise and great humiliation with negative criticism.  The extreme highs and lows can tear up a person.  Both are illusion.  The middle path of reality and wisdom is affected by neither, straying "neither to the right nor to the left."  Canupa put me into great touch with the lows.  In this way I can find my Strong Heart, between praise and blame.

Canupa, the Lakota Strongheart Society headman, and our main "leader", badgered me over and over in the past few weeks, and played continual, intense head games with me, crashing my confidence to zero. He badgered most everybody.  Some days I loved him, some days I hated him.  Some days I felt I was in some weird, abusive cult.  I still don't get it, sometimes.  Sometimes I totally get it.  The wounds of the Lakotas and of all indigenous people run so deep it's overwhelming.  That's part of the point.  But the greatest point, hardest to grasp (or hardest to admit, I should say) are that the wounds of white people run just as deep, with the exception that ours are covered up and whitewashed.  We, as all humans, were once indigenous, and lost it to occupation (e.g., Rome).  But the Roman Empire continues to this day, and we continue the abuse until we face up to our wounds and our intense fear, hidden under our false show of confidence and power and domination of other cultures, with our condescending "love" and "spirituality".

Am I validating his methods?  A horse can be trained with extreme hurt, which is the usual accepted tradition, or with gentle kindness, as the horse whisperer Buck Brannaman showed us.  From his own abusive upbringing he knew one could learn through abuse, but much healthier learning through kindness and respect.  A valid human baby can be born through rape, or can be born through loving kindness. 


Confession: I reluctantly used money

One thing that happened at a fuel stop on our trip was Canupa told me to get him a couple Monster energy drinks, handing me money to buy them for him.  He'd be the first to admit he is addicted to those things, along with constant junk food.  He told me to get one for myself, too.  He knew I didn't use money.  I also had zero desire for a Monster energy drink, both because the thought of it sickened me and because it supported the ridiculous corporations that cause the damage we were supposed to be against.  But I used his money to buy his two drinks.  He asked me where mine was, and told me to go back and buy one for myself.  Silly me, I did, not to please myself, but Canupa.  Giving my power away, as he liked to point out in me.  I said to Canupa, "Kind of ironic, that it's an Indian who gets me to use money again, huh?" Naomi told me it was a lesson that money is just an illusion that doesn't matter, to neither love it or hate it, both of which give it credence.  But deep inside my heart, I knew I gave into bullshit, letting myself be duped.  I drank a third of that venom, thinking I should at least enjoy it.  But I didn't, and its obscene amount of caffeine gave me a headache, so I threw the rest out, feeling weak and stupid.  Another head game. 

One thing Canupa likes to say is to not trust anyone, not even him.  Trust only your heart, he'd say. After leaving him, I start really getting it.  Stop being weak.  Follow your heart, what you know to be true.  You're not the strong wise guy you might think you are.

We could throw it back and look at Canupa's faults or motives.  And this is part of the trick.  As my friend Michael just told me, when you're stabbed with a dagger, what good does it do to analyze the motives of the one who stabbed you?  

Second Money Test

The official Lakota Truth Tour ended in Washington DC on April 16th, and we were heading back west, I had my friends drop me off in Pennsylvania so I could hitch-hike up to Vermont. (In reality, the Truth Tour is still happening).

Yes, I decided to have them drop me off at I-99 in Pennsylvania to hitch north.  As we all hugged and said our goodbyes, Canupa handed me a wad of money and said, "buy yourself some food."  This time he seemed genuinely worried about me, and he told me so, as if he were letting a lost little boy wander off alone, as if I hadn't been wandering unscathed like this for 13 years.  I told him he knew I didn't use money, but he pressed it into my hand anyway, so I took it.  Naomi asked me if I had enough, and I looked at her in astonishment, then said, "I don't usually use money", thinking of the Monster drink episode.

I put the wad in my back pocket and waved at them as they drove off with worried looks.  Right or wrong, it felt to me like parents who had no clue what I'm about.  But I did feel utter lack of confidence and feeling stupid in their presence, until they left.  Then, when they were out of sight, I started feeling free and powerful again, intermittently with throbbing weakness and low self-worth.

A mid-aged man who happened intermittently go to Ecuador to do Christian mission work (Ecuador was where I was in the Peace Corps and where missionary friends of my family were stationed) gave me a ride to the next exit 15 miles up the highway.  It started pouring rain, so I took shelter at the underpass.  After the rain died a bit, I was back at the on ramp and a mid-aged woman with a Jesus card hanging from her mirror and Christian pop music playing on the radio picked me up and brought me to Altoona.  She then handed me a wad of money and told me to buy a train ticket to Vermont at the station there.  I didn't say anything, except thanking her profusely, took the money and stuffed it in my pocket to keep the other wad company.  I never looked to see how much each was, but could see it was now $70 or $80.

For those of you familiar with my lifestyle, you know I agree to take money sometimes, to acknowledge people's generosity, and then I get rid of it usually by sun-up the next morning, either by giving it away or leaving it in a public place.
But this time something was happening to me.  I was actually considering buying that train ticket, though I had zero intentions of buying any food.  I was exhausted and disheartened, and the thought of a comfy train soothed me.

So I walked to the transit station.  I went up to the counter, money in hand, and then I caught myself.  "Listen to your heart."  My Strong Heart would go deeper into hiding if I bought that ticket.  A sense of powerful exhilaration hit me, I turned on my heel and walked past some homeless chaps to a bench and stuffed all that money into a crack in the bench and walked freely and joyfully back out to the highway, with a new sense of power.  It's amazing how happy I felt.

And it felt like the Universe's blessings were showering down on me again.

More Good Samaritans

The next morning a young Christian youth pastor immediately picked me up.  He was an ex-marine Iraq- and Afghan- war veteran who now worked with the homeless, and talked about wanting to simplify his life even more.  He let me off in Philipsburg, PA.

By this time I was pretty amazed how many Christians were stopping for me, and all of them were fairly quiet and didn't seem to have any of the usual agendas except to help me.  They only told me what I gleaned from them, and I felt a brotherhood with them.

In Philipsburg I found some nice wetlands and set up camp.  I found lots of food in the dumpsters, including tons of Easter chocolate.  Sleeping with the chirping frogs and singing birds, surrounded by trees, felt so luxurious and healing and full of gratitude.  Nature is utterly non-judgmental, and nobody was scrutinizing my every move. The next morning I decided to stay and heal, feeling so exhausted.  Between meditation and playing the guitar and listening to the red-wing blackbirds and frogs, I played the guitar and intermittently slept all day.

A man my age, who'd camped near me, came by, carrying his beer, to chat and listen to guitar.  He was hurting from a divorce, and had lost his house and most his money.  Amazing how much I hear that.  He gave me a pouch of tobacco, though I don't smoke. 

A 60-something man took me to I-80.  I stood on that ramp for an hour and only 3 or 4 cars had gone by.  Just when I picked up my backpack to walk to another ramp, a young woman stopped, got out of her car and gave me a hug!  Some would classify her as a hippy.  Her name was Kate and she was heading to Ithaca, NY, and said could probably find me a place to stay with her friends.  We talked and sang with the guitar the whole way.  That night she took me to a drumming/music jam.  I met a 20-something Dine (Navajo) guy there who was planning to go on the Natives' Long Walk from Washington DC to Alcatraz in San Francisco in July.  he needed some tobacco, so I passed the tobacco on to him.

Vermont Friends

I got to Montpelier, Vermont the next day in two rides.  I stayed with Michael, Sarika, and Satya for about a week and then started camping.  It's been wonderful and healing.  Satya is the cutest baby in the world and my God-daughter, and Michael and Sarika are among my best friends (Michael is in the book). 

Finding my Totem Animal

I still felt I needed to process my post-Canupa PTSD, so I went on a 4-day vision quest on a mountain ridge, inside a vision circle 12-feet in diameter, with a two trees inside it.  I wondered if a totem animal would come.  The third day I was feeling exhausted, with a headache, filled with doubts, wanting to quit.  That night my headache broke and I started feeling energized and centered in meditation.  Between sleeping I'd sit up and meditate.  Then I had an intense epiphany, a feeling of oneness with God and the purity of God, of total trust.  It felt like light streaming into me.  And right at that moment, an outward confirmation: an owl hooted so loud it scared me. The hair on my neck stood up.  "Maybe that's my totem!" I thought.  The owl hooted again, and with it, the thought, "No, silly, I'm not even in your vision circle.  You're totem is coming tomorrow!"  So I went to sleep, with my head against the center tree, feet faced west (till then I had slept with feet faced east).

At dawn, I awoke to see a shadowy animal inches from my head!  A raccoon?  No, maybe a badger.  I lifted my head for a better look, but the light was still dim.  He wasn't scared.  Then he slowly walked to the other tree in the circle and climbed it.  He actually looked like a kind of sloth!  He started chewing on bark on branches, then bedded down on one.  He stayed there inside my vision circle all day! He mostly slept, waking up now and then to scratch and stretch and chew bark.  That afternoon, it felt time to go, so I said goodbye to him and left him in the vision circle.

Nest day, I looked up Vermont wildlife and realized he was a porcupine.  I'd never before seen a porcupine without its quills bristled up, making him look sloth or koala-like.

Everything I look up on the porcupine totem is eerily fitting. Everything about porcupines is what Canupa loved to "make fun" of in me. Not even a bear or wolf or puma can mess with a porcupine, despite appearances! I just couldn't feel worry when Canupa said I was vulnerable and scared and could be a target for danger. I knew with all my heart I had my protection. It's been here for 52 years, after all, despite my aimless wandering around. I'm sure Canupa, that jiver, already knows that. If not, who the hell cares?

I learned so much in that Vision circle.  But there's enough words here already.

Glenn

A random magical hiker named Glenn came to my new camp twice.  He brought me food, without my asking, today.  An amazing person with amazing stories, still part of the vision quest.  Lots more I could say, but there's enough words here already.

Strong Heart

Yes, I'm finding my Strong Heart that got lost. 
I'm Porcupine.


58 comments:

  1. Daniel, I know you don't use money to purchase things, but I would like to get you a copy of this book. You are mentioned in the book several times is the reason I would like to get you a copy.

    http://www.amazon.com/Good-Fish-Alone-Joseph-Friedrichs/dp/1484086031

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  2. Suelo,thanks for sharing.Your thoughts on the video and this site inspire goodness.Sharing ,SF Bay

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  3. Thank you for sharing your experiences, Daniel. Your courage inspires.

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  4. Love it! Love it! Love it! Just to let you know Del and I have talked with several of the elders and relatives in Porcupine who have known Duane since he was a wee one and we have an official released verbal statement! Call to hear it sometime! 262.366.9137 Much love and prayers and soul growth always all ways! Barbara

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    1. I've been thinking of you lots, Barbara - & so glad you piped up here!
      So glad you were on the Truth Tour with us.

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  5. Daniel - thank you for your honesty. I am going though a big change at the moment and hoping the Uni-verse will hum along with my plans. Your experiences provide the evidence time and gain that if we are open enough we will get what we need.

    Brian

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  6. Suelo, thanks for your awesome blog. Thought you might be interested in this sad story of a bank throwing out tons of food in front of hungry people in Georgia:

    http://www.globalresearch.ca/american-dream-food-loaded-into-dumpsters-while-hundreds-of-hungry-americans-restrained-by-police/5329966

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  7. Check this out!! www.freeworldcharter.org

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  8. Doesn't seem as though the tour was what you had imagined. I'm not sure what you got out of the experience but what I came away with is there are good and bad in all. We have all wronged and been wronged. I as a white man do not feel responsible for what whites do and certainly not for what they have done. I am responsible only for my own actions as is everyone else. It sounds as though Canupa was aware of your feelings of guilt at the actions of others and bullied you into betraying your own beliefs. We can't change history. Those that were wronged in the past are dead as are those that wronged them. If wrong was done it should be honestly acknowledged but how do you make amends to people who are dead for the wrongs of people who are also dead?

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    1. I agree with much, maybe all, of your comment. Maybe.
      "It sounds as though Canupa was aware of your feelings of guilt at the actions of others and bullied you into betraying your own beliefs" might be true. Might be. Were you there?
      The Truth Tour is not really about past guilt, but putting away past and looking at present actions that are destroying native culture right now, as we speak. Being psychoanalysts (presuming the feelings of others) is the business of Roman Empire, rather than simply listening, observing, sparingly speaking what is. Roman Empire (the Colonizing Mind) is alive and well right now. This mind is bulldozing native culture right now. Native culture is our own nature, whether we are white, red, brown, or black. And we can work with and amend what is right now. And the past, present, and future then are amended.

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  9. Suelo, I've just watched your interview with Filiz; it was the most gratifying experience I've had in a very long time. Thank you, sincerely, for taking the time to share your truth, and to remind me what truly matters, at a time in my life when I very much needed reminding. Namaste.

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  10. Daniel, I love your blog - I SO wish I could live the way you do. At this moment though, I do not have the skills - like I don't know what wild edibles I can eat in central new York (other than dandelion greens). Please keep your blog entries coming - they are an awesome respite from this secularly motivated world.

    gina

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    1. I don't really have much skills, either.
      I once asked a college class how many could live without money for a year if somebody offered them a million dollars at the end. Most raised their hands.

      Determination is what's needed. It will give you all the skills you need.

      Imagine if your determination were real, within, not the illusion of a million dollars?

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  11. Yeah, taking on past wrongs for the whole society is a major charge. I am sure, Suelo, your intent runs deeper and more complex though than just that. I do believe that we need to try to move past a lot in this country. Similar to Northern Ireland, something has to shift and blame has to cease. Making peace occurs in an instant. I believe it is one of the biggest parts of forgiving trespasses and debt. The energy drains are immediately broken once we move past the "You owe me because..." phase. All of American society can look at one form or another and say their ancestors were forced to endure some form of prejudice. Irish, Italians, Blacks, etc. etc. etc. If we go back in time and try to make it right, we will never go forward. I think it is interesting Suelo that right after you mention you are finding fear in your heart about the walking tribe, you choose a cause that looks back at atrocities. Why are you afraid?

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    1. I am human. I've never met a human without fear. You could ask why I admit when I'm afraid.
      By admitting the fear I feel before jumping off a cliff into cold water in the darkness, I can overcome that fear. And that's what makes life exciting, not pretending I have no fear.

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  12. Daniel, I was raised in the same family as you. I believe that Mom and Dad followed the core teachings of Christ. You say your family did not follow the teachings of Christ. You insinuate that you DO follow the teachings of Christ, but I've noticed that you do not follow ALL of them. How did you pick and choose which were the correct to follow?

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    1. I do not claim to follow or not follow Jesus' teachings, nor do I claim to be or not be Christian. If my life says I follow Jesus' teachings, I do. If not, I don't. If my life says I'm being Christian, I am. If not, I am not. It is you, not I, who claim I do or don't.

      You and I and anybody familiar with the Gospels (the most published writing in all the world) know perfectly whether or not professed Christianity (including our own brand) followed the teachings of the Jesus it claimed as its own. You can interpret this as an attack on my own family, or you can go back and see what I'm saying. Condemnation or simple self-reflection?

      There isn't a human on earth who doesn't pick and choose, scripture or anything in life. I respect those who admit they pick and choose. You and I know that our religion did not pick most the basic teachings of Jesus. Condemnation, but simple observation? It's understandable that we & most professed Christianity didn't pick them, because it's hard. But it's not so hard to admit we don't pick them. I've simply wondered what would happen if we actually did pick them. Perhaps by admitting this simple truth, we would then be given the power to pick Jesus' teachings, and we would be worthy of the name "Christian" we tacked on ourselves. Isn't it high time we had a little self-reflection, a little honesty? The way to becoming Christian is to admit we are not.

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    2. That's why I used the term "insinuated." By preaching Jesus' teachings you insinuate that you evidently believe and follow them. But it can be observed that you don't follow all of them, and so the question, Why not? What is your criteria for picking and choosing?

      I don't care how many or who does or doesn't pick and choose, or who calls themselves a Christian or does not, or even if you do or do not call yourself a Christian. That was not my question. I simply wanted to know why you chose the teachings of Christ you did, to teach or to follow, and neglected the rest?

      Also, you called the Judea-Christian faith a "myth." If it is a myth, along with all the other myths, who cares about ANY of it? Why not just do what nature bids? Isn't that what you are trying to do anyway? Do you really need a philosophical or mythological excuse for it? It seems that whenever we introduce mythology or philosophy, something goes awry.

      But why, if God is simply a force in the cosmos, an aspect of the natural world, does it even matter if we follow nature? We live. We die. They live. They die. Why does it matter HOW they live, or how they die? Why does it matter if we live short lives (like the dog), or long lives (like the parrot)? We'll die all the same and become food for the next generation of livers and diers, and they the same, until the earth and sun run down. Who is to say when that will happen?

      So, why all this teaching and sacrificing and attempting to get Christians to think through their stances? So what if they live the teachings of Jesus or not? It all has to do with the physical world which is perishing with us.

      So many have rejected the Old Testament Law because it has to do with the physical world. It does not save us spiritually, so has just a little worth. But is not this belief system of yours doing the same thing? If the Judea-Christian faith is mythology, along with Islam, Buddhism, Sikkism, etc., then all there is is the natural, physical world. Whatever philosophical system we set up for it, has only to do with the physical world. It all sounds like a game to me. Why are we teaching and propagating our games??



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    3. I know that you also studied under Buddhism for awhile, accepting some of their belief system. Did you make the same demands of them you do "Christians"? Did you demand that they stop calling themselves Buddhists because they don't follow ALL of Buddhism's teachings? How about Mormons? Catholics? If they are soft Mormons or soft Catholics, should they stop calling themselves Mormons or Catholics? Or is this a criteria for only the Christian Faith?

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    4. Suelo, I totally agree with you. I understand what you are saying. Who are we to say we are Christian/Jewish/Muslim/Buddhist/etc? All you can say is that you are trying to be Christian and it is for God to decide if you suceeded in that.
      SFT

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    5. Right. Who am I to say I'm a scientist (after all I go home from my lab and live a normal life a good portion of it), a mathematician, a policeman, a father or a mother, a MALE or a FEMALE, especially when I have urges for the same sex? I'd say the issue is moot. God says we can KNOW and He gives the criteria right here and now in His Word--simply and to the point.

      1Jo 5:13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; THAT YE MAY KNOW that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

      1Jo 5:12 He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.

      Joh 3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

      It's as simple as that. No conjecture or scratching of the head. No ornate formulas or bushel basket of rituals, conjured up goodness or works.

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    6. Really, SFT, I'm not trying to be anything. I can only be myself. If I am who I am, I am the Image of God. I am who I am, declared at the burning bush. To try to be anything else is to be false, to fall from grace.

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    7. Pennie: I make no demands on anybody. I just live my life and speak what I see and speak my heart. If you feel this is a demand, where is this demand coming from? Surely not from me.

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    8. But why Daniel, if it is all a myth? What does what anybody has to SAY matter? As soon as you open your mouth or criticize another person/group you are laying down rules to live by, saying this is "right" and that is "wrong." If that is not so, why communicate any of it? Why not simply live and let live?

      You call it a myth but rule your life by it? Why?

      It is obvious the natural way works, simply living as close to the earth as possible. The natural world has survived all these millennium and even thrived, without rules and regulations by which to run its lives--except for the human race. When humans interfere with nature, there is never improvement. You cannot improve on what God has ordained. History has demonstrated that over and over again. So, why tinker with God's world by introducing mythological philosophies? Why? What motive is behind such an activity?

      One more question, Why does the human race set itself above nature, requiring rules and regulations and guidance for its survival when nature thrives all on its own?

      Just some things to reflect upon.




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    9. Oh, dear. I forget the word "myth" is abused, like "religion" to mean "fiction." Myth, Joseph Campbell shows, is not fiction but truth of **direct** experience, beyond what eye can see, ear can hear, or what can enter human thought. No historical account or scientific theory can ever be totally proven, but a myth is proven here and now, because it is direct experience, as a sunset or a flower. Myth is the only truth we can ever know. The mind, which is carnal, for example, sees Genesis & the Bible as historical events, rather than the ever-existing Word, ever happening now, the same yesterday, today, and forever. If it is not happening now, it can't be the Word the same same yesterday, today, forever. Take it literal, if you like! Hebrew Genesis is literally written in present tense, not past. The characters are the living, not the dead, present, not past. If not, it is not true, not provable. The past, the dead, cannot be proven. The present, the living, is its own proof. The carnal mind reduces Myth to petty history (death) and scientific theory, which can never be anything but theory. If Genesis as history were true it would change the heart, make us better humans. Only Genesis as Myth can change the heart, now.

      Why do you repeat what I say about tinkering with nature, turning it around to say the opposite? Myth is a direct outgrowth of nature. Myth is nature, nature is Myth. Myth is Truth. But the carnal mind makes it arguable dogma. The carnal mind tinkers with nature, bulldozing it over. Did you listen to the video you comment on? Aren't the answers to your questions already in it? Myth can never be argued, unless the sunset or a flower can be argued. What and who are you arguing with?

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    10. I was gaining my understanding of "myth" from the standard definition given to it and assumed that you were using common language so that we, the common people, could understand you. Now that you have defined your concept of "myth" for me, I understand what you are saying and accept some of it, because it has a measure of truth to it.

      I would like to ask now, How is myth a direct outgrowth of nature?

      Also, what do you mean by the "carnal mind"? What is wrong with having a carnal mind?

      Did I really turn "tinkering with nature" around to mean the opposite of what you have been saying? Or did I add one more way we tinker with nature? If tinkering with physical nature never improved on it, how would tinkering with spiritual nature improve upon it? Why not just let everything alone to be its natural self? Why tinker with it at all?

      So, you think I'm arguing? Perhaps. I thought I was asking you questions, not only to clarify my understanding (See? I got YOUR definition of "myth" which clarified much of what you were saying), but to also get you to reflect on what you are saying.



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    11. Honestly, I don't feel like answering these questions. Think what you will.

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    12. What do you think I'm thinking about you? I love you and think you're the sweetest thing on two legs, baby bro. But the philosophies you hold, even though they have a great measure of truth, are like the thread you put around your neck when you were a kid, and graced with live June bugs. This time, however, you have not threaded June bugs on your string necklace but human souls.

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    13. What you think is your business, not mine. Think what you will.

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    14. You are accountable for the human souls, Daniel.

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  13. Daniel,
    I am about to begin a similar journey. Any advice?
    Thanks, your buddy
    Dan

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    1. FAQ
      https://sites.google.com/site/livingwithoutmoney/

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  14. I think you’re missing the point Suelo. Admittedly there is a lot of teaching crammed into the four gospels but I think the Messiah’s main teachings were not centered around what He was teaching. He did command a fair bit, although it’s important to separate specific commands from His general ones.

    On the one hand He told a specific person to sell all he had, give the proceeds to the poor and then follow him. Does than mean we are all to do the same? I think not, that person already had a god and it was his possessions. Before he could follow the one true God he needed to get rid of his false one. The women who followed the Lord Jesus on His journeys ministered to him from their ‘substance’ i.e. possessions, goods, wealth, etc. He didn’t tell them to sell all etc. Why? Because their substance was not a god to them.

    A good example of the general commands was when He said, “Come unto me…” He was commanding everyone to come to Him because everyone, in one way or another is weary, heavy laden and in dire need of rest. Not only that but His very presence was for the entire world hence very general.

    His main teachings were not do this or do that, don’t do this or that. What He emphasized was the fact that He was the One. “I am the way, I am truth personified, I am the source of life both mundane and eternal. No one can reach Father God except by me.” Again He said, “I have come that you (general) can have life and not just mundane life but abundant life.” Jack London, himself a non-Christian once said, “People are meant to live, not merely to exist.” This is the abundant life and can only be found in Jesus. DOING the various teachings of Jesus accomplish nothing on their own, what is truly needed is the LIFE that can only be found in Him.

    So Suelo your claim to not claim to be or not be a Christian is hollow. A store front mannequin all dressed up in designer clothes but nowhere to go. You have a pardon from God Himself but you fiercely claim, like in the old commercial, “Father, I’d rather do it myself.”, (i.e. my way) When you reach your final destiny will that pardon still be sitting in your self-built cell when you are taken to serve your sentence?

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    1. "I think the Messiah’s main teachings were not centered around what He was teaching."
      Thanks for summarizing beautifully what you think.

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  15. Suelo, good luck with your endeavor. May you find peace. I know you don't need my seal of approval, but I extend it to you anyway.

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  16. Daniel,

    I think our only job is to be the best person we can be every day. Period. I think you are wonderfully genuine. Thanks for sharing your journey with us -

    gina

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  17. Salam Suelo,
    While I enjoy reading these posts, it is hard for me to hear the negative comments. I can't imagine how it must make you feel. You open yourself up and carry a burden for it. I enjoyed your interview with the turkish woman and I forwarded it to some friends and got a backlash myself at why I was so interested in a homeless bum. They don't get it so I'll keep my new enlightenment to myself. But for me, I thank you for sharing your life.

    Semper fi,
    SFT

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    1. Thanks, SFT. They are all part of the universe. For every praise there is a blame, for every positive there is a negative, for every right there is a left. When it gets to me, I know I still am learning. To remain on the narrow path, swaying to neither the left or the right, is true life. So I am thankful for the positive and the negative, the authentic and the pharisee, my teachers.

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  18. Suelo –

    What is the ultimate goal or point of ‘Sueloism’ and a ‘moneyless tribe’?

    You do a great job of illustrating the illusion of money and how all of our needs are provided if we just trust Spirit and walk on faith, but then what? If the goal is to bring humans back to a hunter/gatherer lifestyle such as the Hadza or Native Americans, we are still of the ‘dirt’ as your name implies: dust to dust, ashes to ashes.

    Jesus’ illustrated the Way which transcends the natural or physical ‘life’ (ie the flesh) into pure Being, Spirit. “That which is born of the flesh is flesh and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.” The kingdom of God within is not a physical, material so-called life where everything preys upon everything else in a hierarchical food chain. In Spirit, we neither eat to live nor live to eat. “Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them.”

    Enoch, Elijah, Jesus, and many others have ascended above this material world (ie the consciousness of the carnal mind) and entered the Kingdom of God/heaven (the divine consciousness) where everything is harmonious and there is no darkness/duality.

    In your writing you do a marvelous job of unveiling the delusion of money and possession, but then leave the seeker right there as a moneyless hobo – still entrapped in the human condition, albeit without the encumbrance of worldly things.

    Forsaking the the things of the world is just a step in the Path which overcomes the world.

    Happy Trails,
    ~freebird

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    1. Of course, how can there be an ultimate goal on earth? That which is born of the Spirit ascends, that which is born of the flesh remains. Two men are in one bed: one ascends, one remains. There can be no more ultimate goal for this homeless hobo body I ride in any more than there can an ultimate goal for a river, flowing to the sea, evaporating, returning to its beginning again. If this hobo is to be judged as goal-less, so judge the river, also! There is nothing new under the sun; all flows to its start again. And nothing is more beautiful, in the physical realm, when this is accepted. When I give up all possession, right down to this body, I realize this body is not me: merely a temple, dying and resurrecting, ascending and descending. In this realization, I Am, born of the Spirit, resurrected forever, Today: not a moment before, not a moment after: "Today I have begotten you." "The time comes, and Now is, when the dead shall arise."

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    2. Ascends to where? Resurrected to what? What is the benefit of accepting this? or what is the purpose for accepting it? If this body is not me, then what is it? A temple for who/what?

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  19. Just stopping by here to see how you are and catch up on your news, wishing you peace and joy, purity of heart and contentment, God's providence for all your needs, good friends and a safe place to stay each night. Peace be with you. x

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    1. Thank you, Ember.
      Your wishes are being heard, I can testify.
      :-)

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  20. good morning daniel ! i think of you each morning and wish you well on your journey this day - keep us posted - i'm 49 years old and i want to be just like you !

    gina

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    1. Thank you, Gina.
      Being exactly your self is the ultimate!

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  21. Dear Daniel,

    I commend your experimentation with money, and perhaps you signed-up to act that exact role when you decided to come and play in the physical world. However, I have but a few thoughts about your experiment.

    You seem to be actively resisting the use of money, which is a form of rebellion against money and all that is associated or built with it.

    However, you do acknowledge that money is neutral, neither good nor bad. And in your experiment, you seem to be attempting to exhibit your non-attachment to money. However, your active and conscious resistance against it shows that you are actually very attached to it but in a negative way. I think it was Eckhart Tolle who said that when he had no money and was homeless, it was OK. Now that he has a lot of money, it is still OK. He is indifferent to the presence or absence of money in his life, because he is non-attached to it. A person who is really unattached to money does not resist the use of money. Hence, without such resistance, such person does not contribute in reinforcing whichever "good" or "bad" illusory energy we have associated with money.

    As the saying goes: "What you resist persist." This is because as you resist something, you are actually validating its positive or negative existence. If you resist money because you believe it has caused bad or harm, it is your very belief about money that creates the reality you believe about it.

    You said, you do accept money from some people because you want to acknowledge their generosity. However, your receiving the money made you feel uncomfortable and bad about yourself and that's why you want to get rid of it as soon as there is chance. Hence, it does seem that you are not receiving from your heart, even as the giver is giving from his heart. It seems that receiving money hurts your ego, because it interferes with the construct or belief system you have set up for yourself when it comes to money.

    I am not judging you, and again, I commend your experimentation (someone has to experiment about different things for the evolution and expansion of the human race), but I have these thoughts for you to reflect upon as you go your merry way in life's joyful experimentation.

    Have much fun! ... would also be fun to hear your thoughts about the points I've raised.


    love and peace,
    Mayah





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    1. Not using something and describing its simple cause-and-effect isn't exactly resisting it. And if it is, so be it. For example, speaking of the simple cause and effect of meth and choosing not to use it is resisting meth, then so be it. Or, if I find a certain food distasteful, and it doesn't bring me health, and I see it is bringing bad health on most people everywhere, why should I eat it?

      Why tell me what I've already thought about, admitted, and let go? I have no problem accepting money strangers give me to acknowledge their generosity (because they don't know I live moneyless), and that I don't feel their money is "evil". It's quite obvious here that Canupa's giving me money is a whole different category, not about giving me anything I need, but about playing trickster games with me to test my resolve, because he clearly knew I didn't use money. I admitted my resolve wasn't very good. Why beat on what I already beat on?

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  22. Every one who has commented, everyone. You are all lost, so lost. I would call you white "civilized" people parasites, but that would be a lie and an offensive statement to parasites, because even parasitic organisms have purpose and place and function in it's surrounding environment, that benefit and help bring about and keep balance to the great organism it is apart of. You people have no place, your people is a ghoul, a vector, a twisted thought that answered itself with a manifestation. You broke your sacred circle with your egocentric rape mentality linear thinking, then you cut your umbilical chord to your own ancestors, to star, and sea and sun, and this earth, removed yourself from symboitism, removed yourself from your function as human beings, beginning your decline into "civilization", bringing into fruition the physical manifestation of your imbalance, religion, slavery, rape, hierarchy, chauvinism, and ownership. After you severed your umbilical chord to your mother, this earth, you raped her, with your mining, with your perversions of metal and mineral. Only knowing how to take, you even take when you give. My people know your bible, we know your religion and your "civilized" ideologies much better than you could ever understand, you have been showing it to us for the past 500 years. And we have been listening, watching and feeling in living and dying. The 50% of our children you took away and exposed to acts of rape, violence, sexual exploitation, pedophilia, who did not even survive to feel the warm embrace of father and mother who's arms you took them from ever again all the way up to the 1970's, the hundreds of thousands of our women and children bound and raped in front of relative and brother and sister and father and mother, the thousands men and woman and child trampled and murdered in cavalry charges in the name of god and country and the benefit of your livelihood, profit, and life styles. We have lived and died for these past 500 years, we have died in the last moments of rape as children in your group homes and in your boarding shools, we have died hanging on your nooses as men called savages/pagans/hostiles/animals, and we have died inside as you rape our body's as women, as you tell us it is our fault, that we are just like you. And we die NOW, ONE every thirty seconds of starvation/disease/poverty as children to guarantee your personal comfy middle class spot on the chair in this great game of musical chairs you call your monetary system/society. Generation to generation for 7 generations, living and dying, we've felt the impact of your religion, your society, your unbalance. For 500 years. Forcibly removed by you from the aspect of nature we are supposed to be and always were before you came. Just like an antibiotic we have had to live and die at your mercy time and time again, feeling your rage, feeling your hatred, feeling your violent disconnectedness and frustration, feeling your emptiness and fear, feeling your abstraction, your nothingness. We have suffered your rape and your acts of destruction, as woman, as infant, as child, as man, as butterfly, as grass, as ant, as buffalo, as deer, as fish, as tree and fowl. And we now rebuke you, 7 generations it has taken to build the antibiotic strong enough to combat what you are, and what you have brought here. And now, we as one body as one organism, from every blade of grass to every insect and pollen, every tree and flower, every fish, ant and every piece of molecular formation of 02 you bring into your lungs every time you take a breath, we as a whole have identified you for what you are, and we must now return balance to where unbalance has manifested itself. As any cellular body regulates itself without hatred, without malice, but with purpose to maintain balance, we as a whole now will return balance to this great organism. We have all had enough. We have nothing more to give. We rebuke you.

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    1. Dear Tenswatawa,
      You have every right to be angry. But you will never find justice on this earth, only with God. We are doing our best, so forgive us. I am sorry I am here but now, I have nowhere else to be.

      With love,
      SFT

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  23. One thing I learned from the Truth Tour is that we're all pots calling kettles black. The oppressed becomes the oppressed. We've become total experts in everyone else's faults. And it will never end until we all own up to our ridiculousness. Yes, we're all lost, we're all oppressed, all oppressors. If we truly own up to this, there's no more guilt, no more blame, no more dwelling on the past, only humans, only life, only forgiveness.

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  24. I meant "the oppressed becomes the oppressor"

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  25. http://www.thehumanist.org/humanist/MaryGarden.html

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  26. When people get burned by fire does this prove that fire is evil? When we find examples of meditation (being still in prayer) used destructively, does this prove meditation (being still in prayer) is evil? Now let's turn around and be courageous: look at that log in our own eye: When the Christian message is used hypocritically, as we see all around us, does this prove Jesus is evil? Can any individual, system, religion, or nation that can only pick at the faults of others, never on oneself, believing all constructive criticism to be "persecution", ever be healthy? Can any good ever come from breaking the Golden Rule? Can a bad tree ever produce good fruit? Ever?

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    1. Yes, let's turn around and be courageous and accept constructive criticism. Let's not judge it as hypocritical and coming from a bad tree.

      Speaking of a bad tree, Can a bad tree ever produce good fruit? Absolutely not. That's why the Savior said to Nicodemus, "Ye must be born again," and later it is said that the true believer becomes a new creature (new tree)--old things are passed away.

      It is why God said that the sins of the true believer are taken away as far as the East is from the West, but the righteousness of a person before they are born again is nothing more than filthy rags. Fruit from a bad tree is bad no matter how good it "appears unto men" to be.



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  27. Hey Daniel, if you're still in Vermont I'd like to invite you to be our guest at any of our Vermont communities. We live in communities and share all things in common like the first century church. We don't individually have money, but we use it collectively to pay bills and buy food and to meet other basic needs. You're welcome to stay with us for a day or to stay. I just moved to our community in Lancaster, NH. I provided a list of addresses and phone numbers in VT. Also, you don't have to call in advance to stay with us, you can just "pop in" if you like. My name is Chanowk and you can tell them that I invited you(but you will be welcomed regardless). Thanks



    VERMONT
    Community in Island Pond,
    P.O. Box 449
    Island Pond, VT 05846

    (802) 723-4452
    The Yellow Deli/Common Sense
    28 Cross St.
    Island Pond VT 05846
    %
    (802) 723-4452
    Basin Farm
    P.O. Box 108
    Bellows Falls, VT 05101
    %
    (802) 463-9264
    Community in Rutland
    134 Church Street
    Rutland, VT 05701
    %
    (802) 773-3764
    The Yellow Deli & Hostel
    23 Center St.
    Rutland, VT 05701

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  28. Thank you! I was just telling my friend I'd like to check out communities in VT. Maybe next time I'm there (I'm in CT now, getting ready to head west).

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  29. Thanks for sharing your experiences with all of us. Boo

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