Saturday, February 10, 2007

I'm a Ritz Cracker

It's been like spring these past few days in Moab. Yesterday, when I came down the canyon, I could even smell flowers! Even the lizards are out, snapping up bugs. I've been seeing fresh bobcat prints every couple days, plus occasional coyote ones. Yeah, Phil's & my house-sit finished last week, so I've been up the canyon. It feels liberating. 

 I'm getting ready to go to the Ritz this evening, which is like a prom for adults, put on by the women's shelter as a fundraiser. All the rich people go to it, and I get to schmooze with them. I usually get a free ticket, but this year I'm going as a volunteer, to bus tables. They told me I need a white shirt & black pants. 

 The last time I went, a couple years ago, I borrowed my friend Pennie's tux, which fit perfectly. But I didn't have a shirt to go with it, but I figured something would come up. The night before the Ritz, I still didn't have a shirt. Then I went walking by the City Market dumpster and noticed a box of clothes sitting right by it. Right there on top was a white shirt. Not only was it a white shirt, it was a fancy tux shirt. Not only that, but it was laundered, starched, and neatly folded. Not only that, it fit me perfectly. 

This year I asked Pennie if she still had that tux. Yes, she said, but she had lent it out and thought maybe that tux shirt was missing. I went to her house last night and she was gone. Hmm, maybe I won't get a tux this year. No prob, I don't have to be so fancy this time since I'll be bussing tables. So I wandered over to the thrift store. Yes, last night, the night before the Ritz, I found, sitting on top of a pile in the thrift store dumpster, the second white, button-down dress shirt I've ever found in a dumpster. Okay, it wasn't so funny as to be a fancy tux shirt this time, and this time it had spaghetti sauce on it. But it was exactly what I needed and fits perfectly. So this morning I went over to the women's shelter resource center and bleached it. 

 I already had my one pair of pants, black, but they look pretty grungy. So I decided to go back over to Pennie's to see if she had those tux pants. She was there and talked me into taking the whole tux, plus polishing my shoes to look brand new. "It's so rare anybody gets to dress up, you might as well go all the way," she said. So the grungy bum transforms into a dandy again & gets to hob-nob with the upper crust. No pumpkin coaches or glass slippers... but we can't get too carried away with this, can we? Who says the Universe doesn't have a sense of humor?