Tuesday, November 17, 2009
My life has been crazy-packed with strangeness these days & keeps feeling more & more surreal, on the one hand, yet, on the other hand, more natural & normal & at peace than ever. I've been dividing my time staying at the cave & at a camp near town. I'm adoring Moab & the people here these days.
I've been in a lot of contact lately with Mark Boyle, the British guy in the UK who started the freeconomy community, and has been living moneyless the past year. It looks like he is contracted to write a book about his year living without money & has felt himself in a dilemma - because a book brings in money royalties. It sounds like he might use the money to buy land & create a moneyless community in the UK. We had a bit of an email debate about it, because at first I was feeling disappointed that he might go back to using money. But since then, I'm feeling in total agreement with his venture, & want to support him in every way I can. It's splendid. But I myself have different ideas, a different path. That doesn't mean better.
Heidemarie Schwermer, moneyless in Germany, has also written a book, DasSterntalerexperiment - mein Leben ohne Geld ("The star talers experiment - my life without money."). She has given the royalty money away.
It's a fascinating time, that the world would want to put a spotlight on such a thing now.
Yes, in corresponding with Mark, I also had to think about my own dilemma. A Sarah from Penguin books had contacted me months ago about writing a non-fiction book. I told her the only way I'd write a book is if it could be totally free - given away free & zero money for me. It would be absurd, otherwise, I told her. She said they'd think about it & get back with me later. So she did, & suggested somebody else write the book, namely Mark Sundeen, an author & former Moabite I happened to know! The book would not be free, except for donated copies to libraries & maybe a supplemental pamphlet, & I, of course, would receive no money. It's not my business whether or not somebody else gets paid for their work. So it looks like it's happening.
Thinking about this whole scenario after corresponding with Mark Boyle, I thought his decision could be the better one. But now I'm realizing it's foolish to compare. Whether or not I made the right decision matters not, now. What is, is, and I pray that the utmost best comes of it, regardless of my own shortcomings.
Hence, Mark Sundeen has been in Moab interviewing me, and just left yesterday. He's coming back for another round in the Spring. On the one hand it's been intense, like talking to a therapist, and, on the other hand, my ego has enjoyed it. Yeah, part of me is an egoist. It's our human condition. As long as I'm aware (holding it in the light), my ego can't take control. We all must forgive ourselves for our egos, because every single one of us billions of humans on earth (except maybe artificially inseminated ones) was, in our past life, in the zygote universe, one spermatozoa among hundreds of thousands or millions or billions (if you include multiple ejaculations) who made it to the egg! That's right, each one of us was superior to all other sperm in our past sperm universes, respectively! Yup, when I was a spermatazoa, I alone made it to the prize, the egg, above all other sperm.
However, then I was born into this universe, right back at the bottom again, an infant, among billions of humans, for another round of competition & cooperation. The first shall be last.
The Halo Around Only Me, Around Only Us
Have you ever noticed in a spray of water in the sunlight that your own shadow is always at the very center of the rainbow? Always! The rainbow is our halo. Ezekiel the prophet noticed this in his vision: the Son of Man is surrounded by the rainbow halo (Ezekiel 1:28). The Son of Man is the One and Only, the very center of the universe. It's a grand ego trip until we realize the Golden Rule, that every creature is the One and Only Son of Man, the Word made Flesh, Adam-Eve One, Ruler of all Creation, who is "all and in all": "The Anointed within, the hope of Glory."
I've started going to yoga sessions, taught by my new friend, Mel, & she's totally splendid. It's a spiritual practice for her, not just a physical exercise that most American yoga has been reduced to. I'm growing to really love her & her hubby, Matt.
My friends Tina & Forest & Diane & Karen have also started doing sweat lodges, and I'm excited to have started participating. I'm feeling such a beautiful bond with people in this town these days.
Cody Last week I came into the library to check email. It was the first time in a while I'd been there. As I was typing at the computer, a young guy I'd never seen before, named Cody, came up to me and asked me if I was Daniel Suelo. Yeah, I said. He said he'd walked away from everything in eastern Colorado & had been on a hitch-hiking adventure the past few weeks through New Mexico & Arizona, and decided to come to Moab on the whim that he might find me. The fact that he'd never told me he was coming, that he was running on pure spontaneity, stepping out on crazy faith, totally swept me away. He's pure & beautiful & a total joy. He's been camping with me since.
The day Cody came a Denver Post journalist (Jason) & photographer (Yuang) were here, as well as Mark Sundeen. The Denver Post folks stayed up at the cave with me & Cody. What a crazy life.
Another thing that made Cody's coming so unusual was that Mark Sundeen was just asking me the very day before Cody came about my life in the canyon - a life not too conducive to relationships. It would be a rare individual who'd be willing to share this lifestyle with me, we both agreed. It seems I am running away from relationships with people, I'm often told. Yes, I truly would be happy living the rest of my life solitary. But accepting only pure relationship, if it comes, is a point of living this way, I told Mark.
A universal fairy tale in cultures all around the world is about a princess who will only accept suitors who can make it through near-impossible trials. She won't take anything less. She prefers solitude to anything less. It seems like she is avoiding relationship that way. These fairy tales & myths are from Nature, conveying the very Law of Nature. Back to that sperm-and-egg scenario, see how the egg is at the center of a near-impossible obstacle course. Sperm must go through a competition with other sperm through spermicidal fluids to reach her. Nothing less than the Naturally Select, the Elect One, will do for her! Every single one of us earthly creatures, in that past zygote universe, has played the Princess and the Suitor, and won the Game! It's pure, magical "coincidence", coinciding of Elect Zygote halves!
Yesterday Cody & I were on our way to visit my dear friends, Brer & Haila & their daughter Veda, & we decided, for fun, to check a dumpster on the way. I found a child's compound bow, (which I might modify & use to hunt small critters). When we got to Brer & Haila's house, in the light, we noticed the name "Cody" scrawled on that bow! It gave me the chills.
Cody could stay or he could leave soon. Nobody knows, and nobody has made any promises, and nobody must ask for more. Everything is impermanent and fleeting, and being able to accept the impermanence & fleeting of life is true life. Accepting the Cross of impermanence is life. We fool ourselves into thinking there is a permanent family or permanent relationship on earth.
Smell and relish the desert primrose while it is here in all it's fickle glory! Spread those peacock feathers while you can, because it is Nature!