Saturday, February 16, 2013

Where Is My Heart?

Wow, I just realized it was Dec 22nd since I last blogged!  The comment thread has been constantly active since then, anyway.

Lynn spent Christmas with me and we went to the community dinner in Moab put on by Wabi Sabi. This was the first Christmas in a long time that I didn't spend with my parents, being tied down to a house-sit.  It has been a record cold winter in Moab, and Lynn toughed it out for a few days outdoors with me until a house-sit came along (right when it got bitterly cold).   Lynn decided to take a bus back to Maryland after the New Year festivities.  Of  course I got really sad, missing her and our wonderful talks and quiet hang-outs.  Ah, yes, I'm still a man of attachment, loving to have new friend visitors and sad when they leave.  What most impressed me about her is her spirit of constancy, never complaining (except jokingly, about the bitter cold).

I got pretty sick with a bronchial infection before Lynn left.  I only get sick when I'm living indoors.  In all the years I've lived this way, I've never gotten sick sleeping outside in the bitter cold. Whatever, I'm healthy now and still indoors, until Monday.  When I make sure I eat super healthy food I'm okay.  Living outdoors, I eat wild edibles every day, and that keeps me strong.

Right now I'm house-sitting at Cosy Sheridan's house while she is on her music tour all over the US.  She has lots of good books and I've been reading voraciously.

A Hungarian television journalist, Hesna (Al Ghaoui Hesna) and her film crew were here for a couple of days and camped with me in the guest cave.  They were lots of fun, but I'm a bit frazzled.  They're working on a documentary which should be available on You Tube in a few weeks.

Planning But Not Vowing With Words

Some friends and I are brainstorming on a possible walking moneyless tribe on pilgrimage.  I so feel this moneyless venture can't be a one man gig.  A lot of folks over past months, years, have emailed me wondering if they could join me, needing direction, and I've been a bit overwhelmed, not answering hardly any of them.  Feelings of uncertainty.  But new inspiration is arising!  Maybe I'll go through all those emails and contact them (you, if you're reading this) and share these ideas, sometime when I have lots of computer time.  God willing: Inshaallah: the will of all Nature, all that is natural.

Community and doing, not merely talking, is where life resides.   If this moneyless community happens, it must be total commitment, with nothing to go back to, no credit cards (of course), no money (not even a penny), no cell phones, no dead to bury, no attachments, not something to try for a while half-heartedly.  Where your treasure is, your heart will be there.  Is your treasure a spot on earth or is it in heaven, within, so you will always be Here and Now, here with your neighbor and not somebody else?  We want people here who are here and no where else.  There can be no courage, no confidence, otherwise.  Put the hand to the plow and don't look back.  Life looks forward, death looks backward.  Live life.  It's a little scary writing even this much publicly, because I too often feel unworthy for the cause.  But we'd never get out of bed if we let such doubts rule us.  There's much more in the plans, but that's all I can share for now.

It's natural to plant ideas and plan with words and thoughts.  But beware of boasting for tomorrow, making vows, placing ourselves in debt!  When our minds are in debt or seeking credit (attached to the past or future), our hearts, our treasures, are not Here and Now.

The doing is the vow, the doing is the commitment, not words.  There must be absolutely no delay between the vowing and the fulfilling of the vow, because the doing of the vow is the vow, beyond words!  Spoken vows for the future are fickle and illusory and come from a deluded heart.  There are no marriage vows or contracts or promises in Reality.  There is no divorce in Reality, because there are no marriage vows, no written contracts.  Marriage vows and contracts and promises cannot come from a heart of love, but only from a heart of possession and fear of the future, fear of loss.  Vows are are insidious debt, and come from a heart of debt, delusion.  The True Buddhist Vow is not words for the future, but words stating the Present, what is already happening.  And to state what is already Present is to state what will always happen in the future, the unbreakable vow for the future.  A heart that is not here is dead.  Forgive us our debts, forgive us our vows.  Resurrect from death, awaken from sleep, Now.  Only Reality is total, unshaking commitment, loving your spouse, loving your neighbor, totally in the Present, un-divorce-able.  When we have no debt (except love) we seek no credit, because the credit is the doing.  The debt of love is the credit of love, when credit and debt are both One in the Present.  Hallelujah:  All Credit to the Eternal Present.  What will unfold in grace will unfold on its own without manipulation.

So don't let yourself be so impressed with these words.
Be impressed with doing.

Do, or do not.
There is no try.